Abstract

Divorce is the lawful form of dissolution of a marriage, which is permitted by Allah Almighty only in unavoidable unconducive conditions, hence it is still the most disliked act near to Him among lawful acts. The divorce has severe socio-psychological outcomes for stakeholders, particularly children from divorced spouses are at worst hit. Today’s children are the tomorrow’s vital human resource. The main objective of this research has been to analyze social and psychological impacts of divorce on the divorced spouses’ children. Hypothesis of study was that “parental divorce affects the children adversely in psycho-social terms”. The universe selected for this study was province of Khyber Pakhtunkhwa. A number of 30 respondents were purposively selected, while using non-probability sampling technique. The respondents were juveniles having their ages ranging between 5 years to <18 years; these juveniles’ parents were divorced. The Interview was used as method of data collection. The results of study shows that parental divorce affect their juveniles in terms of parental loss associated with emotional and economic loss, stress in life, complex dynamics in relationships, social and psychological problems etc. It is recommended that every possible effort should be made to maintain the marital tie intact, and if in some case, Allah forbid, the divorce occurred, even then children should be supported by both parent, by society and by the state.

Key Words

Children, Divorce, Family, Parent(s), Psycho-Social Effect, Society

Introduction

Divorce is getting alarmingly common conversely and a significant number of marriages are ending in divorce. Many children are raised in one-parent’s home either with divorced mother or divorced father, and this has a grave adverse impact on the way they develop. Divorce has multifaceted affects linked with various aspects of life and children have to adjust to these dynamic situations. When spouses divorce, children’s development is significantly interrupted and many children have a hard time adjusting to this. In almost all cases, in addition to spouses, children are affected in many ways. In post-divorce, parental loss results for children in loss of knowledge, skills and resources. Another outcome of divorce for children residing with one parent’s families is having insufficient financial resources. Divorce often causes variations in children’s living conditions i.e. change in schools and homes etc. The juveniles frequently have to adjust to dynamics in relationships with peers and families, which are stressful for them. These children are exposed to inter parental conflicts, which is common in families that have experienced divorce. Each of problems faced by children at their earlier age goes with them to their adulthood and emotional scars could be left for life. Keeping all these factors in view, the study is expected to be significant contributory, and therefore the study has been intended to analyze that how growing up in a divorced home relates to and do affect child’s social, psychological and economic growth, and humane functioning. 

Literature Review

The phenomenon of divorce damages society (Fagan & Churchill, 2012). Amato and Sobolewski (2001) alarm regarding divorce that it lastingly deteriorates family, and also effect relationship among children and parents. The divorce often leads to unhelpful conflict management approaches and results in weakened social competence among children. Amato (2000) indicates that divorce grounds for irreversible loss to all involved, particularly to children, such as, causing disruptions in the child-parent affiliations, continuing dissonance between previously spouses, ending emotional support, causing economic difficulties and occurrence of other negative events in life. Fagan and Churchill (2012) believe that family serves as building block for society, while the marriage serves as its base. Hence, the divorce i.e. dissolution of marriage does have inescapable deteriorating impacts for children and for five major social institutions prevailing in society including family, religion, education, economic and political. Post-divorce, women experience a significant decay in their monetary conditions that as a result affects their children. 

Amato and Booth (1997), and Cooney and Uhlenberg (1991) informed that within divorced families, children receive reduced emotional, economic, and useful assistance from their parents. US Census Bureau states that today nearly one half of all first marriages results in divorce and two third of such situations involve children, who experience a variety of on-going psychological and social difficulties, creating redundancy in their lives. As adults, they are twice as probable to experience mental illness and failed relationships. In juveniles, threatening signs of coping difficulties can include issues in sleeping, eating, increased annoyance, sadness, fears and or regression (Desrochers, 2004). Divorce and separation relate directly to reduced school accomplishments. It was found that children studying in elementary schools who experience parental divorce promptly start showing academically poorer performance as compared with their peers from intact families (Kinard & Reinherz, 1986; Amato, 2001; Potter, 2010). Kaye (1989) found that immediately after divorce children exhibited weaker academic performance in contrast to intact families’ children. The children who experience divorce earlier in life have more chances of exhibiting poorer educational outcomes (Steele et al., 2009). Children who experience divorce of their parents or grandparents do incline to have lesser years of education, and reduce their chances of education in colleges (Ross & Mirowsky, 1999; Amato & Cheadle, 2005; Furstenberg et al., 1994). Crowder and Teachman (2004) found a greater frequency among children from single parent families regarding drop out from schooling.  

Divorce deleteriously affects society diversely; it effects religious practices, reduces God’s worship and calling Him in prayer, reduces children’s knowledge acquiring potential and attainment of education, decreases income of the household and severely reduces earning capacity of individuals, cause increase in crime at significant levels, results in neglect and abuse, drug addiction, and increase costs of government services, well-being and health, results in lowering juveniles’ health and prolonged existence, raise emotional, behavioural, and psychiatric hazards, also may include suicide. There are divorce’s repercussions for children’s souls, hearts and minds (Fagan & Churchill, 2012). Hill (1993) found that divorce inflicts chaos on psychological constancy of majority children, and Cherlin et al. (1998) says that children from divorced families express more emotional problems. The parental conflict provides adverse outcomes for adjustment of children to divorce, their self-esteem, capability of coping and adjusting, behaviour and social competence (Grych & Fincham, 1992). Krantz (1988) informs that early separations may be linked with deficiencies of emotional and social functioning and children from weaker socio-economic backgrounds pass through bigger hardships after divorce. 

Demo and Acock (1988) were alarmed at problems faced by  young children in peer relations and personal adjustment. Parental divorce leads to another type of divorce, which is between children and parents; the parental conflict followed by divorce causes decline in relationship between parent and child (Meneghan & Parcel, 1995; Amato & Afifi, 2006). Families wherein divorce occurred show deterioration in language motivation, affection, academic behaviour’s inspiration, social maturity’s reinforcement, and warmness towards children. The availability of scarcer games and toys is common, hence increase in physical punishment prevails (MacKinnon et al. 1982). Parental divorce frequently leads to reduced trust among children (Jacquet & Surra, 2001). Laumann-Billings and Emery (2000) alarms that children take stress from divorce. Majority children dislike separation of their parents unless marriage becomes full of severe conflict, anger and or other sources of misery. Divorce strains parent-child relationships, e.g. losing one parent’s contact, bringing financial hardships, risen conflict among parents and creation of legal conflicts etc. Most children experience difficult time during divorce transition. Due to divorce children may pass through behavioural and psychological issues. They are especially likely to experience problems such as disobedience, anger, rules violations, prolonged sadness, defective school achievement, depression, anxiety and, pain and grief.

The divorced families’ children are slightly poorer than the intact families’ children, facing difficulty in schools, behaviour issues, adverse self-concepts and issues with peers etc. (Amato, 2001). Divorce could be stressful for children, they may feel confusing and sad, may feel angry, uncertain at the outlook of splitting up of their parents (Kemp, Smith, & Segal, 2018). Hetherington (1993) reported a high percentage of adolescents from divorced parents (30%) as compared to adolescents from intact families (10%) having serious problems, for which professional help may be required. Kelly and Emery (2003), and Amato (1993) indicated different forms of risks contributing to children's problems, including poor parental adjustment, parental loss, life stress, economic loss, exposure to conflict between parents and lack of parental competence etc. Farrington (1990) found among children experiencing parental divorce in earlier age having more chances of being adolescence delinquency and criminality. Frost and Pakiz (1990) indicated that divorced parents’ children are significantly having more chances than children from intact married families of becoming delinquent in teenage. Parental divorce results increase in externalizing behaviours among children, such as, carrying of weapon, quarrelling, substance abuse etc., and they are having more chances of experiencing health problems (Amato & Keith, 1991). Children of separated or divorced parents reveal greater behavioural issues, and the marital conflict accompanying parental divorce causes greater risk for social competence. Such children fear for being rejected, and a lack of trust often retards firming of their relationship (Johnston & Thomas, 1996).

Research Methodology

The research’s content is comprised of both secondary and primary data. For secondary data, the books, reports and research papers were consulted. While for primary data, interviews were conducted. The research used explanatory approach using quantitative data methodology.  




Research Hypothesis




Based on literature review and general perception it is hypothesized, “the parental divorce affects children adversely in psycho-social terms”. 







Sampling and Sampling Procedure                                                                                                                




The 30 willing respondents, including 15 male juveniles and 15 female juveniles were interviewed. For a gender balanced study, equal representation was given to both genders. The respondents were selected from different areas of district Kohat, as universe of study. The selected areas included in study were the KDA Township, Jarwanda, Shimla Pahari, Behzadi Chikar Kot, Mian Khel Bazar and College town. The purposive sampling was made as non-probability sampling technique. The respondents of research were children belonging to age group of 5 years to <18 years. These children were reached through snow-ball sampling while having knowledge about them through a general survey, in which it was discovered about divorced spouse residing with his/her child, whom (child) she/he was having from the divorced couple. It was also the criteria for sample respondent that at least one year should have been passed of divorce, so that its effects may be discovered. The immediate divorce eventualities were not included in study because its instantaneous impressions give greater shocks, varying from family to family, and due to another reason that respondents may not consent for interview in a state of shock.

 

Method of Data Collection




The interview method was used for primary data collection. The interviews were conducted face to face with respondents during year 2011. Whole of the data was gathered by researchers in written form from respondents. The questions included in interview schedule were pre-tested and brought in line with study’s objective. The questions constructed were also brought to comprehension level of respondents. As the respondents were children, therefore special care was made in interviewing tone and style. An attitude based on love, kindness and empathy was maintained while conducting interviews. Due to the objective nature of study, the interview schedule was compiled as structured. So the study used the quantitative methodology. While discussing findings, the descriptions were made in order to elaborate the phenomena.




Cultural Context of Study




The cultural context is considerably important in studies related to socio-cultural and psychological phenomenon as it provide a unique sphere of thinking and behaving. In this study, in particular, the primary data collection is held in context of Islamic Republic of Pakistan having a culturally preserving and Islamic society. Here, families are based purely on Nikah i.e. Islamic way of getting into marriage contract. Holy Prophet Muhammad Peace Be Upon Him has said that Nikah is our Prophets’ (peace be upon him) Sunnat i.e. way of living, and whosoever deviated from it, is not among us (Believer, Muslim, Faithful). The particular Hadith is “Aishah, Allah may please be with her, said that the Messenger of ALLAH – Holy Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said that marriage is part of my Sunnah (way of life), and whoever does not follow my Sunnah, has nothing to do with me. Get married, for I will honoured of your great numbers before other ummahs (faithful religious communities). Whoever has the means, let him get married, and whoever does not, then he should fast for it will diminish his desire/lust (Sunan Ibn Maja, Hadith No. 1846). Here in this society people believe on and practice Nikah, and live within strong marital and familial ties. The Talaq/divorce is considered bad/stigma, hence still is in practice within society, as is permissible by Allah Almighty in unavoidable circumstances, wherein when it is too difficult to maintain marital ties, or wherein there is a strong logic/justification emerged for divorce. People live together in joint and extended families, tied with intimate relations, care much for each other, especially for children. Hence, divorce, recognized globally as a curse having worst effects for whole family, particularly for children.




Ethical Considerations




The divorce is considered as a sin, social evil and stigma in society wherein this study has been conducted. The divorce is also considered as highly internal, personal and restricted matter, therefore the access to and willingness of respondents was somehow difficult. The respondents and their guardians were taken into confidence regarding the academic nature of study. It was cared that the questions included in study and manner in which questions were asked may not be hurting the sentiments and integrity of respondents. It was assured that the study finding will be publicized for greater awareness and sensitization of society regarding understanding problems of and dealing with children from the divorced families, without revealing the respondents’ identity. The respondents’ anonymity was assured.

Primary Data Analysis

The primary data was collected during year 2011. The primary data was gathered through interviews from respondents directly because they can better describe their experiences. The collected data was recorded writing, consequently this data was tabulated, while showing different variables with their numerical values. These variables have been described and explained in textual format. Regarding the demographic information of respondents included in study, there were total 30 (100%) respondents. All respondents were ranging between age group of 05 to <18 years, this restriction was willful i.e. the children below age of 05 years and adults above 18 years were not included in study. The 18 (60%) respondents were living with their fathers and 12 (40%) respondents were living with their mothers. Based on primary data, there is one Table comprised of 17 variables expressing juveniles’ post parental-divorce conditions. The respective variables are described and explicated as following: -

Variable-1 shows status of children regarding whether their friends ask them about their parents’ divorce, among them 18 (66.66%) respondents agreed that their friends ask about their parents’ divorce and 12 (33.33%) respondents disagreed. It shows that majority of respondents face this situation. In society where this study is conducted, divorce is considered as bad, stigma and in-occasional. In our religion Islam, divorce is considered as unwanted and be averted to a maximum possible extent. ALLAH Almighty, our God considers divorce as bad/unwanted act among permissible and lawful acts. Due to this reason, it is understood that when these children are questioned by their friends or class mates that why their parents get divorced, what issues were there, what were the differences, how the property is distributed etc. it surely annoy them and they may experience depression, shyness, survival difficulty and dislike-ness by others.

Variable-2 shows status of children’s difficulties in society after divorce of their parents; a significant majority of respondents i.e. 19 (63.33%) shared that they had faced difficulties in society after divorce of their parents and 11 (36.66%) has responded in negation. The majority respondents agreed that they face different forms of difficulties while living in society; these issues are linked to the individual’s relations with society. It is inferenced that challenges are increased while relationing with society and it is difficult for juveniles to face these challenges alone, or in absence of one parent. While lesser respondents reported that they do not face such difficulties due to reason that they have elders e.g. uncles and aunts in joint or extended families, who take care of them and they need not to interact with society directly.

Variable-3 shows status of children’s facing difficulties in school due to their parental divorce; among them 21 (70%) shared their experience that they face difficulties in school due to their parents’ divorce, while 9 (30%) respondents disagreed. Majority respondents face difficulties while being in school. In schools, children have to face financial issues, relationing issues, homework, an academic need etc., which is difficult for them without both parent’s support to cope with. Every child does have a peer circle at school, which is the formal institution of socialization, wherein if juvenile face difficulties, it can cause deficiencies in his/her socialization, development, and overall personality stature.

Variable-4 shows the generic view of respondents regarding status of their life’s disturbance after divorce of their parents; among them 22 (73.33%) respondents shared that their life gets disturbed after their parents’ divorce and 8 (26.66%) respondents disagreed. The word life, here in this research, is taken as synonymous to an overall image every individual have in one’s mind regarding life in which he/she sets priorities for himself/herself. Study found that majority children experience perception of a state of their life’s disturbance in their minds that ultimately retards their psychological and social development. They live life, hence without optimal level of development.

Variable-5 shows respondents experience regarding facing difficulties in social interaction with their divorced parents; among them 28 (93.33%) respondents agreed that they experience difficulty while interacting with their divorced parents i.e. they live with one parent and face difficulties in interaction with other parent (with whom they do not live), while 2 (6.66%) answered in negation. The children of intact family are being socialized by both parent because they are in relation with their both parent. And in case of parental divorce formerly-spouses start living separately and children reside with one parent while contrarily the differences and conflicts prevail among their parents, due to these reason children do face difficulties in social interaction with parents, often with whom they do not live. They develop comparatively more emotional attachment with parent with whom they live, and due to demonstration effects they do develop an anti-relationship and attitude toward parent with whom they do not live, this also tense their relations. It is also the case that sometimes both parent or one parent is of harsh mood and personality stature, consequently child remain unable to share his/her problems with parent, or even cannot claim or ask for their valid demands from them. 

Variable-6 shows status of children’s contentment that either they were happy before divorce of their parents or afterwards; among them 27 (90%) respondents shared their contentment regarding pre-divorce of their parents and 3 (10%) respondents showed contentment post-divorce of their parents. The significant number of respondents expressed that they were happy within intact families, even in case when their parents were quarreling with each other, while lesser number of respondents was happy post-divorce. The contentment of a few may be due to prevalence of more peace in home post-marriage if parents of these children were having worst relations, conflicts and quarreling etc. within marriage bonded family. 

Variable-7 shows effects on sleeping status of children after their parental divorce; a number of 8 (26.66%) respondents shared adversities with their sleep after divorce of their parents while 22 (73.33%) respondents disagreed. Though the lesser number of respondents experienced sleep disturbance, hence it exhibits effect on their peace of mind and post-divorce psychological state’s adversity. The sleep is necessary for peace of mind, psychological well-being, health, physical growth, social activities etc., while sleeplessness cause mental problems and illnesses.

Variable-8 shows status of redundancy’s prevalence in socialization of divorced couple’s children; among them 17 (56.66%) respondents agreed, while 13 (43.33%) respondents disagreed. The parents are the direct agents of socialization for children. For juveniles, mother is the prime agent of socialization; they spent most of time in company of their mothers. The socialization, growth and development is the ultimate goal of human’s life, and religion Islam philosophize evolutionary, gradual and continuous improvement and development in every aspect of life. While parental divorce cause redundancy in child’s socialization and development, which is not desired at all, hence is un-avoidable in case of parental divorce. 

Variable-9 shows effects on academic performance of divorced family’s children; a significant majority of respondents i.e. 27 (90%) agreed that divorce of their parents had negative effects on their academic performance and 3 (10%) respondents disagreed. Findings express that parent’s divorce adversely affects children’s education. Post parental-divorce, children become get worried, experience anxiety, pass through deep-thoughts, remain mentally pre occupied and are get involved in non-productive activities which affect their academic career adversely. Further, they do not remain as much free and bold as they were at their educational institutions pre divorce of their parents. Parental divorce and family’s break up make them weak and tangled in different complexes. The achievement in education not only serves as base for individual’s socialization and academic growth rather it is linked to one’s professional, personal and later life employment aspects as well, while for every individual the employment is crucial for earning and matching livelihood essentials. 

Variable-10 shows status of children’s desire that either their parents should have not divorced; a significant majority of respondents i.e. 26 (86.66%) desired for not having their parents divorced and 4 (13.33%) had not desired so. The data shows that due to children’s post-divorce experience, they desired that their parents may not have got divorced. While a fewer children differed from this, which may be (although divorce might have caused many difficulties for them but) due to parental pre divorce worst relations proven as intolerable for them. This variable reflects the sentimental and emotional hurting of children, which affects their personalities gravely. These emotional and sentimental deficiencies later on become part of individual’s attitude and behaviour, which may or may not cause deviance and criminal tendencies in their personalities. This contribution in personality may respond (as revengeful and causing) back the similar alike difficulties to overall society.

Variable-11 shows children’s source of financial support after divorce of parents, among them 12 (40%) respondents told that they have been supported financially by their mothers’ family and 18 (60%) respondents are being financially supported by their fathers’ family. The community wherein the study has been conducted, males are responsible for earning and bearing expenses of families’ livelihood. While in cases wherein mothers took responsibility, may be because they are working women or being supported by their relatives etc. or fathers are not taking responsibility of children. The income earning is a vital factor in human’s life and survival.

Variable-12 shows status of financially supportive fathers of divorced families’ children; among them 18 (60%) respondents answered in yes that their fathers were financially supporting them and 12 (40%) respondents answered in no. This variable is supporting finding of Variable-11. Islam and society put responsibility on male individuals (as husband) for earning livelihoods for their dependents i.e. their parents, wives and children. Due to this reason, male individuals are grown and formally educated by their families and society in such a manner that they may become able to earn livelihood in later life, while females are not much educated because they are not responsible for earning livelihood of a family. And in case if a female is divorced having no relatives to support her and she herself is unable to earn too due to lack of her formal education and professional skills, as a result, she will be facing difficulties in earning ultimately affecting children that are dependent over her. Therefore, not only males, rather females too shall be educated with religious and science education shall be skillful and financially resourceful. They shall be given their share in parental inheritance as Islam considers.

Variable-13 shows status of children’s mothers that whether they work after their divorce or not; among them 8 (26.66%) respondents showed affirmation that their mothers were working after divorce, while 22 (73.33%) respondents replied in negation. It is inferenced that some married females were working and employed pre divorce, while some others have started working after their divorce for meeting livelihood expenditures, as their ex-husbands has stopped supporting them financially after divorce. Another factor is that the divorced mothers having custody of juveniles start working, and now they have lesser time for socialization, care and needs fulfillment of these children. Therefore, the children in divorced mothers’ custody preferably be financially supported by fathers.   

Variable-14 shows status of children’s pocket money after divorce of their parents; a majority of respondents i.e. 18 (60%) had agreed that they have pocket money after divorce of their parents and 12 (40%) had disagreed. It was found that though lesser hence still significant number of respondents was not having pocket money after divorce of their parents. The pocket money as an economic variable does have social and psychological implications for respondents. Every individual has wishes and longings, particularly juvenile have a lot of aspirations, in respect of buying, possessing and owning something, which can be made possible through money. And absence of pocket money can take children to depressive mental states. Further, when these children see their same age peers having pocket money and they do not have, this situation inculcates a sense of inferiority complex in them resulting personalities’ imbalances.

Variable-15 shows status of children’s residence that whether their new residential setup is better than that of their previous one after their parental divorce; among them 12 (40%) respondents answered in yes that their new house is better than their old one, while, 18 (60%) responded in negation. There can be different factors responsible for this phenomenon. The divorce often causes shift of residence of individuals involved, which generate agony among them. The new accommodation brings new relations, neighborhood and these challenging factors do possess severity for juveniles, who are lesser resilient of accommodating themselves to socio-physical dynamics. 

Variable-16 expresses desire of respondents’ children regarding living together of their family after their parental divorce; among them 21 (70%) respondents agreed that they desire to live together, while 9 (30%) respondents disagreed. The data of this variable shows that significant majority of respondents desired for collective living of their parents, and they are un-consented/un-contented with their parents’ separation. Living together is a great blessing, which causes great mental satisfaction and sociability needs’ fulfillment for individuals. When there are more members in family, then there is more socialization, metal satisfaction, secure-feelings and social ties among individuals. The divorce lessens these ties and weakens these social relations among individuals, which affect juveniles adversely.

Variable-17 exhibits status of children’s longing about making possible compromise and sacrifice by their parents in case of prevalence of spousal differences/conflicts to avoid divorce; a significant number of respondents i.e. 26 (86.66%) had desired that their parents should have sacrificed and compromised for them and should have not divorced and 4 (13.33%) had not expressed such desire. It was found that significant number of respondents were longing for their parents to have had compromised and sacrificed so that divorce may have been avoided. A less number of respondents have not had longing of making sacrifice by their parents for avoiding divorce; this may be due to the reason that they do not want their parents to be burdened because of marital conflicts. 

Conclusion and Suggestions

The children have to face many difficulties in society due to their parental divorce. Often people use to talk about their parents’ divorce and that is painful for them, therefore they avoid frequent mixing with others, and consequently they are isolated. Even some children are psychologically troubled due to their parental divorce. They cannot sleep well after such incidence in their lives, and this sleeplessness affects them both physically and psychologically. These juveniles experience difficulty in giving due attention to their studies, and consequently their academic performance gets affected, which ultimately affect their socialization and personality development processes. Divorce also affects children financially making them unable to fulfill their needs, wishes and longings. A divorced single parent, particularly mother, face difficulty in fulfilling all material desires of her children. In some cases, after divorce, father support children financially, hence many children have to go with economic difficulties and often they do not have pocket money if they opt to live with mothers post-marriage in Pakistani society. The divorce becomes social stigma for children leaving a gap in their socialization. Children, at later stage of their life as adults, develop and carry psychosocial deficiencies. Hence, the hypothesis of study that “parental divorce affects the children adversely in psycho-social terms” has been verified based on findings of the study.

The Holy Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) has said that “No child is born but upon Fitra/nature (as a Muslim). It is his parents who make him a Jew or a Christian or a Polytheist" (Sahih Muslim, Hadith No. 6426). As the religion Islam is in actual the religion of all Prophets Peace Be Upon Them, starting from first human being who was also first Prophet Adam Peace Be Upon Him till the last Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him). Children are not born out of any sin, original, inherited or derived. They are born on the religion of their nature, i.e., Islam. The Holy Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) have said that the virtuous child is a flower from the flowers of Paradise. Now it depends on parents, society and state to make of a child as “a civilized and social person”, or “a psychologically disturbed or even a criminal person”. It is suggested that individuals, families, society and state should do everything morally, legally, and lawfully possible, what it can, to have family wed-lock intact. Children be loved and given affectionate treatment by both parent through their words and actions, company and treatment. We need to provide children with sense of secure social self and fulfill their religious, educational, psychological and economic needs. An in case, Allah forbid, if divorce or separation occurred, reinforce idea that children (having their parents divorced) have two homes; one with father and one with mother. Give children with sense that divorce is not their (children’s) fault. Make it easy for children to express their feelings. If possible, speak positive about other parent, and if it is not possible, then while remaining neutral at least avoid criticizing and talking negative in presence of child about other parent. Allow children to stay children; avoid using children as a source of emotional support or making them as your confidence by using them against other parent. If possible, keep other parent acquainted about all important needs and matters regarding children’s schooling, functions, co-curricular, social activities and special events, because it the responsibility of both parent to up bring child optimally as potential human resource.

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